sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.
So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled
so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.
Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.
Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.

So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled

so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.

Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.

Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

(via electric-treefrog)

captainamuricasass:

I wanna be

where the people are

image

(via apocalypseburrito)

Did you know?

stfusexists:

everyjoyitbrings:

collectivecrack:

White American males constitute only 33% of the population. Yet, they occupy approximately:

  • 80% of tenured positions in higher education
  • 80% of the House of Representatives
  • 80-85% of the U.S. Senate
  • 92%of Forbes 400 executive CEO-level positions
  • 90% of athletic team owners
  • 97.7% of U.S. presidents

Good thing we solved sexism and racism u guise

(via apocalypseburrito)

ruf1ohn1tram:

getting nice messages like

image

image

replying to said messages:

image

(via the-winchester-initiative)

diggly:

HALF CINEMA CHEERED AND THE OTHER HALF WERE REALLY CONFUSED WHY WE WERE CHEERING

(via the-winchester-initiative)

  • Me: I'll sleep early tonight and get a good 8 hours
  • Me: *watches entire season of tv show*
  • Me: *reads every book i own*
  • Me: *goes on quest to find the holy grail*

danteogodofsoup:

Excellent storytelling

(via aangs-glider)